Fallen Page 4

  Now his father was a little different from Kai’s mother. He signed over his parental rights to Kai’s grandmother at a young age to continue to pursue his college basketball career. He was 21 when he met Saleen, Kai’s mother, and the starting Point Guard for the Temple Owls when she positioned her way unto the court. He would tease her about hanging out at the college’s games and how she always had the best seat. Saleen wasn’t a student at the school not even an alumni. This was just part of her and her crew’s way of thinking; get them in the beginning phases. Keith knew what she was doing but didn’t care. Saleen was a beautiful dark brown skinned woman with hips for days. She sprung her pregnancy on him after he announced he was transferring to Florida State for his last two years.

  Eleven months and a paternity test later, Keith accepted the fact that he was one of the many men that had been trapped. Saleen bragged around her hood when her son’s father had the leading score and was mentioned in college highlights. She could feel the child support check in her hands as she awaited his draft into the league. But no sneaker deal or endorsement checks ever came. He was overlooked in the draft and eventually dropped from his agency. He came home to Philly for a year depressed about his shattered dreams and left to play in Germany. The money was not the same but ball was all he knew. Kai and Saleen had traveled several times overseas to visit him and almost decided to stay, but Saleen was from the hood. She just couldn’t get adjusted to German life and the strain of finding a hair dresser.

  After a few years of playing, Keith moved back to the states. He wanted Saleen to let him move his son out to Florida with him, but she was not ready for the change. Too afraid to leave her mother and her friends she settled to stay home and continue to live rent free out of her mother’s house. Besides, living with Keith or rather without her mother meant having to step up to the plate with Kai. So Kai’s childhood had become accustomed to summers in Florida and winters in Philly. Keith had begged Saleen and her mother to move out of North Philly and to a better neighborhood and even offered financial assistance but they refused. The large three story house was paid for and a gift from her late husband. It took her years to decorate and get it where she wanted it to be and she couldn’t imagine starting fresh.

  Kai’s grandmother offered the stability that his parents could not. An elegant well-kept mature woman she was nothing like her daughter. She made sure Kai understood the importance of education and respected the root of a dollar. She spoiled him through life lessons of chores and hard work with monetary rewards. A lover of African American history, her goal was to pass on an influence that his mother had but had not appreciated. Spiritual and understanding, she never talked bad about Saleen’s selfish ways only tried to accept that somewhere along the way she had faulted in her daughter’s blue print. But dwelling on the past is too stressful to the heart so she never gave any more thought to parenting mistakes as she would to a losing lottery ticket.

  Now his grandmother had owned her house and two other North Philly properties which was what brought Kai into my living room. His grandmother had passed the houses down to him which needed some renovations. The two bedroom house which he was staying in was being painted and the hardwood floors were being buffed over the weekend, so Jason told him he could sleep in the basement. He woke up late this afternoon after a night of clubbing to a text reading: Yo it’s my mom b-day she likes the house to herself just chill downstairs I’ll be back later its food in the fridge just keep quiet! Only three hours had passed and Jason still wasn’t home. He was in the process of leaving when he stumbled upon me.

  I was so intrigued by his life story that the questions kept flowing! Do you have a girlfriend? Any kids? Are you in college? All questions followed by No with a brief explanation. I felt comfortable with Kai. Comfortable enough to pour him another glass of wine as the effects of my own intoxication became more apparent. I was happy and carefree and this conversation had reintroduced me with the delight of getting to know someone new.

  I had forgotten that this was a friend of the family because it felt more like a first date. The conversations we were sharing were fresh and something I didn’t realize I had been missing out on. For two hours we laughed, joked, and drank telling each other more and more about ourselves. I think he had forgotten that I was his friend’s mom as we learned that we had more in common then we would’ve thought. We grew up in the same neighborhood and went to the same high school. We both had grown up basically motherless but still had stern teachers and heavy influences on how life should be lived.

  Biting down on my full bottom lip as I concluded my thoughts, I knew what I was about to do and my drunkenness was the perfect excuse. Completely harmless, a quick kiss on his soft lips would be the recipe to my loneliness. Kai’s eyes were glassy and his speech was slurred…so if he decided to let me in we both could blame it on the alcohol. I was a bit nervous of rejection but I wanted to take a risk. Moving closer to him my eyes did the talking for me as my intentions began to grow. Throughout our long conversation we exchanged looks of attraction. You know how that goes. When R Kelly is playing is the background and the drinks our pouring and everything seems like it’s connecting properly to make that big move. My eyes were locked in and I was giving him every signal of interest and he was copying them right back.

  We exchanged flirty eyes as I grabbed the sides of his face and guided my hands to the tip of his beard. I tugged on the hair hard enough to pull him forward yet light enough to allow him to make his own decision. I sensed some hesitation in his initial peck but that disappeared after the pressing of our lips and the tingles sweeping across my nipples made me cringe. Kai placed his strong hands on the back of my head as his tongue drifted into my mouth sliding against my own. Instantly my body called for repositioning as I propped my body up and let his hands guide me to where he wanted me to be. Allowing my robe to fall off my shoulder I straddled his lap letting my panty-less body apply pressure to his. I was ready for him and whatever consequences that followed my thrill seeking antics. It had been so long since I had felt that strength of passion that I didn’t know how badly I had missed that element of sex. The sound of his hard inhaling and exhaling while his hands held my body made me feel sexy and womanly. Kai used his tongue to make a line from the bottom of my neck to my chin then wrapped his arms around my waist tightly as his kissed my lips once again. Then suddenly he pulled back and fixed his stare at me as if he had been temporarily hypnotized and was waking from a trance. Putting his head into his chest while shaking his head in disbelief he sat back and released his hands from my body.

  “This isn’t right Mrs. Ramae.” Kai said making me feel like the older woman that I was.

  Those words turned me off completely. I fixed my clothes in embarrassment from his rejection and stood up from off his lap. My face flushed red from adrenaline stopped me from being capable of making eye contact. He stood up also adjusting his pants which had a small stain on them from me which I felt no need to point out.

  “Kai, you don’t have to leave. You can still keep me company.” I didn’t know what to say but we both knew that wouldn’t be the best choice.

  A kiss on the forehead as he walked to the front door established that the power had shifted. Still I was in no fear of him telling my son about our lusty moment. As he closed the door on our venture I felt guilt free for my actions. I didn’t know if I would ever kiss his lips again or if I truly had the heart to take it further than our lips. But I knew that that was the beginning of a new Ramae, and that Jay had better start getting it…because I still had it.

  CHAPTER 3

  My ME day was a success and I kept my mouth shut about my experience with Kai. Not even Tori would know about my lusty moment with my son’s friend! Yes I was being sneaky but it was well deserved. Hopefully that moment will be able to hold me over until Jay gets it together. His neglect for me made moving on guilt free extremely easy. At this point I didn’t even bring up sex with my husband. If he was involved with an
other woman or whatever the matter may be then that was something that I’d have to find out whenever it surfaced. Besides someone once told me lies in a relationship is like oil in water, they always rise to the top. I just hope that his reached the top before mine.

  It had been over a week and Kai hadn’t stepped foot in my house since. I can admit I felt played at first, but tried my best to let my insecure mind let the issue go. I mean really where was the relationship going to go? I think the mystery behind the kiss and the fact that I couldn’t tell anyone made it bubble in my body even more. I wasn’t sure if I should call him or be grateful that I got away with my scandal. Well I guess I only had one choice because he bolted out the door so fast he never even asked me too call! I was so sprung off that little moment you would’ve thought he had me handcuffed to the bed performing all my fantasies! That man really was sexy, he inspired me to get back on my diet plan and work out harder than ever. I lost another 3lbs in the past week, if he were to come back around I wanted to be ready.

  Well today was Jalal’s graduation and I needed to be focused on being the proud mother of a high school graduate and future college football star! I was so proud of my son and couldn’t wait to cheer his name as he walked down the aisle. As we sat through the long speeches given by the principal and some tall skinny dark skinned girl, the valedictorian, my face was lit with the biggest glow.

  Ear to ear I smiled and my eyes smiled along with my mouth. Kahliyah was on camera duty and all of my boys were present. I leaned over to Jamir and whispered to him that I can’t wait to see him up there in a couple of years. Jay looked so proud of our family which made my heart swell. We did it. Whether we were having the most romantic relationship or not didn’t matter anymore. At this moment all that mattered was that we had family and that we proved to be great parents. Hearing Jalal’s name being called as he crossed the stage and accepted his diploma officially closed another chapter in my life, and began to prepare me for a new one.

  A few more photos, some waves goodbye, and we headed back to the house. Jason was having a graduation cookout so we had to hurry back to setup. Porscha was already in the house cutting up potatoes for the potato salad and had the grill going. You could smell the BBQ a mile away and my stomach yearned for some savory pork! But, I was still on my diet so I stayed away from the ribs and prepared my own chicken breast, salad, and fruit platter to set to the side. Of course I had to have a little bit of potato salad! The Dj arrived, the food was ready, and teenagers began pouring into my house. Our family and friends filled the table with gifts and cards, Jalal couldn’t have been happier.

  A little tipsy off of some red wine Porscha gave me as a “good mommy gift”, had me feeling extra nice on this special occasion. My girl and I had been joking and laughing for hours before I even noticed how bad I needed to use the ladies room. I stumbled my way upstairs to the bathroom in the biggest rush I could manage. Too many cups of wine and not a strong enough bladder! As soon as I reached the top of the steps the bathroom door swung open and there Kai stood. It was an awkward moment for the both of us. Kai had a sense of nervousness in his eyes and he quickly looked away with a grin. Seeing him grin that gap toothed grin resulted in the same reaction from me, we were like school kids.

  “How you doin Miss Ramae?”

  Kai cocked his head to the side like a little puppy. His almond shaped eyes and dark skin glowed in the dim lighting like a camp fire. The gesture was so adorable that all I could do is smile even bigger and let out a little giggle. I walked over to him and grabbed the sides of his face with my right hand, “Better.”

  I closed the bathroom door and broke down with butterflies inside my stomach. This was the feeling I missed. I did what I had to do and began touching up my hair and makeup. I felt extremely confident and was ready to prance around my household as a pure tease. My hair still looked great despite the Philly humidity, and my makeup was light and flawless. A few sprays of the body spray that I kept under the bathroom sink, and I was ready to mingle with my young boo.

  Feeling sexy, I made my way out the door and to the top of the steps just to find Jay standing there drunk and sweaty. He staggered past me smelling like Bud Light and basketball. I was instantly turned off by my husband’s appearance in his drunken state. At one point this may have excited me; seeing him drunk and sweaty. But right now compared to Kai, he looked like another drunken man outside the liquor store. Just as he was about to enter the bathroom he abruptly stopped and turned around. Jay’s devilish smirk made me feel uneasy, I truly didn’t know what to expect. His eyes squinted at me with a sharp stare which sent a rush through my body. Perhaps he overheard my flirting from the bottom of the steps, or even spotted the quick hand brush over Kai’s face. I wasn’t sure what his expression meant so I stood silent waiting for his next move on the defense.

  “I know what you’re doing.” He pointed to me with an accusing tone.

  I turned around as if to see if someone else was standing behind me. Establishing what I already knew, the upstairs was clear of any others, I scrunched up my face clueless of his game.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Ramae I know what you’re doing. The makeup, the hair, smelling all good, I see everything.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. I knew that I hadn’t outwardly done anything to make him suspicious. As long as he didn’t over hear or view my conversation, Kai was the least of my worries. So I walked over and gave him a kiss on his salty cheek and smiled, “I’m doing it all for you.”

  With that being said my husband finally walked his drunk ass in the bathroom and I hurried down the stairs. I wanted to find my beau and continue the flirting game a little longer. Kai was sitting next to Jason with two other females at my kitchen table. The girls were obviously guest of theirs, which made me a little jealous. I could tell because they were too old to be any of Jalal’s classmates, but not old enough to be from our neighborhood.

  As Jason introduced me to the girls, Layla and Mimi, all I could do was stare Kai straight in the eye. The girls sang “Hi!” in unison and could barely get a glimpse of my attention. My eyes were piercing right into the middle of Kai’s pupils. You’re going to bring another female into my house? My dark browns said what my mouth couldn’t. I don’t know why I was so upset and I knew it was inappropriate but it was a feeling I couldn’t help. I caught myself in front of my son and walked out the room. I could feel eyes following me out the room and hoped that they were Kai’s and not those girls who were trying to play the nice girl role.

  Feeling so many mixed emotions I needed to take a seat and think about all the things that were going through my head. How could I be feeling jealous about my son’s friend when my husband was upstairs? A couple deep breaths and another sip of wine I eased back into the sofa. But it didn’t help. I wanted Kai. The reality set in that this was going to be a problem. I was all for the excitement of it but the thought of hurting my son was a deed I knew I couldn’t undo. But Jason was grown and so was I, as well as Kai. He didn’t need to know everything and I was sure that Kai knew how to keep a secret. When you get a feeling you should go with it and Kai had over taken my thoughts. The only issue was being able to get him alone again and to see if this was something that he wanted also.

  The BBQ carried on until 2 AM when the last of the last left my castle. Although we had a good time I was glad it was over. Seeing females interact with Kai throughout the night made me watch his every move. How they touched, what was being said, how often one chick came around him. I wanted to know everything.

  Jay cleaned up the kitchen completely with the aid of the boys and Porscha. Once everyone was off to their rooms and wiped out for the night, my scheming wheels began to take motion. Taking Jason’s phone off of the charger I scrolled through his contacts to find Kai’s phone number. Transferring his information into my own phone the future began to look more than real. I put Jason’s phone back on the charger, put mines in my pocketbook and headed to bed ne
xt to my husband.

  The next morning I woke up eager to use my stolen number. Making breakfast for my family like I usually do on Saturdays, I used this alone time to be my perfect opportunity to sweeten him up. I whipped out my cell phone and sent Kai a message hoping not to alarm him.

  Hey Kai its Ramae I’m cooking breakfast I wanted to know if you were hungry? I waited a few minutes to see if he’d reply and shortly after he did.

  Of course I am…but how am I supposed to just come to your house for breakfast? Out of touch with the situation I didn’t think that far ahead. Kai never just stopped by the house and it was 10am.

  Tell Jason that you left something here last night and you were coming by to look for it.

  Proud of myself for quickly coming up with an answer I hoped that he’d agree to the mischief. The 22 year old responded with Cool, which reminded me of who I was dealing with. But I liked it. By the time I finished my fried fish, cheese eggs, home fries and grits, I heard the bell rang and Jason rushing up from the basement steps asking me if I had seen an IPOD laying around the house. I nonchalantly said “nope” as I continued to take plates out of the cabinets.